wtf is going on

Hiii welcome!


First off, I hope everyone is staying healthy and safe during this time, it’s weird and scary but you’re not alone!
This post in a general sense is gonna be about the pandemic, but I really thought long and hard about this. It’s NOT going to be a like a news article talking all about it, so don’t worry. I’d rather chat about what we can do with ourselves in the meantime to cope and find peace. 
It’s kind of a controversial topic (even though it shouldn’t really be) and I don’t want this post to be read the wrong way so here a little disclaimer:
I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR CLAIMING TO BE ONE!! There is a lot that I don’t know and I know that! With that being said, I do my best to only get my information from reliable sources and take everything with a grain of salt. I also try to stay away from listening to the news everyday for the sake of my mental health. I’m trying to distance myself while still being informed and educated, and I think that is the best thing we can all do for ourselves.


So when this all started back in January, it was alarming to hear about an outbreak of a new virus, but in a sort of selfish way, I wasn’t too worried because it was far away. I tried my very best to not feed into the broken telephone talk going on around me. For me, germs and illness are a huge anxiety trigger so I knew that if I got sucked into all the scary talk and media, It would be a huge downward spiral for me. I had to sort of turn a blind eye. 


Things kind of stayed the same for us throughout most of February but when March came along, so did my heightened anxiety (AWESOME). I started hearing everyone around me starting to talk about it more frequently and fearfully, but I still tried to block most of it out. I read from a few reliable sources and formed my thoughts. I said to myself “don’t panic, but take precautions” and that helped me keep my cool basically up until now lol. From the information I gathered I knew that we had to wash our hands lots, and stay away from each other!


So like I said, most of my anxiety stems from a fear of germs/illness, so without distracting and calming my mind, I would honestly be a wreck. And I’ve realized that this might be a reason why I’m not so taken back by all the hand washing and social distancing. It’s crazy because everyone is freaking out about taking all these new precautions but I’ve realized that this is how I live my life all the time. I’m always obsessively washing my hands...40 seconds minimum, above the wrist and under the nails. I’m always standing a safe distance from strangers because who knows if they might be sick. I’m always lysol wiping my phone and laptop when I get home from class because I touch them with germs all day. This is how my brain works on a regular basis...and it’s kinda crazy! These are just a few of the OCD tendencies i’ve developed since I was a child, and now everyone is doing them! It’s weird and I don’t really know how to explain how I feel about it. But I thought it was sort of interesting!


The other thing I wanted to talk about is THE RULES THAT HAVE BEEN PUT IN PLACE FOR A REASON! Sorry, did I shout that? Seriously tho, I already know a few people are gonna be offended by this but hey...if the shoe fits! 
Let’s just lay this all out for a second here...
It’s been made extremely clear, that the ONLY way to control the spread of this disease and end the pandemic, is if everyone STAYS WHERE THEY ARE. And SORRY if this ruins your very important plans but it saves lives! 
Also just so everyone here is on the same page, this doesn’t mean “stay home for a couple days” this doesn’t mean “just invite a couple friends over” this doesn’t mean “travel between cities” ?!?!
It actually means one thing and one thing only: STAY THE FUCK HOME
Seriously though, I struggle to understand how people still aren’t listening. 
There are vulnerable people all around us everyday, and by being near anyone who doesn’t live under the same roof as you, is putting them all at risk. The only way I understand this behaviour is that it is the highest form of entitlement and selfishness. And honestly, it’s pretty much a slap in the face to everyone who is actually making sacrifices. I haven’t seen my family in weeks because I know it’s important to stay home! My poor grandparents are afraid to even go for their daily walk, because OTHER PEOPLE put them at risk. It’s really upsetting and now I’m just ranting, but it’s necessary. 


All that being said...I needed to express my thoughts and mostly rant. So if you made it to the end, thanks for listening! 
If anyone needs someone to chat with during this time, I’d be happy to listen!


xoxo Maddi